Talking with chickens

I know that you should never judge others with a label, calling someone “mean” or “stupid.” Labels distance us from others, making us “less than” or “better than”. If I make people seem grander than me or less than me, "communication experts" generally agree I could be doing something better. 

But what about with my chickens? Can skillful communication work with animals?

My experiment is starting now and will last through the end of the week.

I’ve been studying a communication method called Non-Violent Communication. This strategy proposes a sequence of: sharing your feelings, what you’ve specifically observed, what your needs are and, finally, what you’d prefer.

It might sound like: “Hey Fred. You know, I feel ashamed and frustrated when you criticize the way I make sandwiches. I guess I have a need for trust and respect. I would prefer you tell me the veggies you want on your sandwich, without saying there’s a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way to make sandwiches.”

Clear, simple message. I think I’m understanding. Now, when to apply it? My challenge is that I am living alone, without many opportunities to practice with other human beings. This last time I spoke with my parents over the phone I thought I had the perfect opportunity to practice using some Non-Violent Communication communication. I was going to say something about feeling awkward and put upon by the construction workers that suddenly appear ten feet from my bedroom window at 8 am each morning, constructing a chicken coop/chicken mansion. 

Old habits die hard I guess because I completely botched it and basically just complained instead. One missed opportunity. Happily I’ve developed a new strategy: communicating with my animals!

It’s been 3 weeks and no eggs. My chicken population is not insubstantial. With almost 20 chickens and one rooster, it hardly seems like an unreasonable expectation to get one or two eggs a day – at the very least! I wouldn’t complain if they laid me 20 and I could sell them in town. But alas, no eggs at all.

Will less aggressive, non-labeling messaging induce my chickens to start laying eggs again?

Last night, walking towards the setting sun to put them away, I had the idea to try NVC with my chickens. I began to craft my non-violent communication message towards them. It occurred to me that my subconscious messaging of “You stupid, lazy hens who refuse to perform your sole purpose here and still eat my food” was possibly having an effect on them.

Upon arrival, I attempted a non-violent, Nora to chicken intervention. Here’s what it sounded like:

“Dear Chickens: I feel discouraged and distraught when you lay 0 eggs each day for 21 days. I have a need for cooperation, commitment, and eggs. I prefer you lay at least one egg each day as a signal to me that you are aware of this issue while you sort out whatever is going on.”

That was rewarding and fun! I felt that my chickens understood my more gracious energy as I fed them and locked them in for the night. Inspired, I thought I would try it with my other animals!

“Dear Cat: I feel slightly amused – but also exhausted - when you sit on my pillow and plod your paws and spikey claws into my hair while I am sleeping. I have a need for relaxation and rest. I prefer you lay quietly at the foot of my bed, or elsewhere.”

I will have to wait until this evening to see how effective this communication was.

NVC can also be used to express gratitude, and indeed, it should be. We don’t give each other enough gratitude in this world. We assume that the important people in our lives know it, and that the rest don’t deserve it, or should find it from their important people, instead of from us. To counteract this habit, I said to my geese:

“Dear Geese: I feel pleased and warm inside when you sit right by the gate during the day in order to be near me. I feel this way because I have a need to feel cared about and loved. I like that you want to be close to me and that you eat up all the tortillas I give you. I prefer that you keep it up!!”

It’s a good day when I can express myself clearly, and nonviolently, even if it is only to animals. Maybe it will mean that the next time I’m on the phone with a human being, I’ll stick to the script and get some real experience! Either way, it does me good to be learning, practicing and expressing myself.

I’ll let you know what happens with the chickens …